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A cute little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her home. Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny little creatures; in her hand, she held a sign that announced "FREE KITTENS".
Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out of the lead car stepped a tall, grinning man. "Hi there little girl, I'm president Obama, What do you have in the basket?" he asked. "Kittens" little Suzy replied. "How old are they?" asked Obama. Suzy replied, "They're so young their eyes aren't even open yet." "And what kind of kittens are they?" "Democrats" answered Suzy with a smile.
Obama was delighted, as soon as he returned to his car, he called his PR chief and told him about the little girl and the kittens. Recognizing the perfect photo op, the two men agreed that the president should return on the next day, and in front of the assembled media, have the girl talk about her discerning kittens.
So the next day, Suzy was again standing on the sidewalk with her basket of "FREE KITTENS", when another motorcade pulled up, this time followed by vans from ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN and FOX NEWS. Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set up, then Obama got out of his limo and walked over to little Suzy.
"Hello again," he said, "I'd love it if you would tell all of my friends out there what kind of kittens you're giving away." "Yes sir," Suzy said "They're Republicans." Taken by the surprise, the president stammered, "But....but.... yesterday, you told me they were Democrats."
Little Suzy smiled and said, "I know. But today they have their eyes open."
A guy walks into his Dr. He has a carrot sticking out of each nostril, and a carrot sticking out of each of his ears. He says "Doc, I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel terrible". The Dr. says, "Well, just by looking at you, I can tell you're not eating right".